“Ok, so. Mr. Financial Adviser. Where do we start,” says Phil with the finesse of someone who has never had a conversation in their life. Phil is on the phone, so we can’t visually tell who he’s talking to. Luckily, instead of saying Fred or Derek or Nevin, he says “Mr. Financial Adviser” so we know exactly what this person’s role in society is.
Unless Finanzielladviser is a German last name. In which case, I am being ignorant.
“So where should I invest,” continues Phil. Thank goodness we know who he is talking to or we would be totally lost. Invest? Who do you talk to about investments? Hot dog vendors, maybe? Bell hops? Perhaps very smart bats.
After saying “nah…nah…uh-huh” and shaking his jowls around like a dog shaking a colostomy bag filled with mashed potatoes, Phil gets excited about investing in a toy company. He responds “I don’t care” to an unheard comment. The comment from Mr. Finanzielladviser is probably “I mentioned the toy company as a joke. It would be a terrible investment.”
Then Phil drops the mic on the argument with the phrase every debate student should learn. “I have a lucky cat.” Damn, son! You just got taken to school! This dude has a lucky cat!
After squaring that away, Phil calms down and lowers his voice. Menacingly, he tells Mr. Finanzielladviser “it’s time for me take a walk in the woods. I got a neighbor to meet.” Which is a weird thing to say to anybody. Let alone your financial advisor.
One sided conversation over.
Oh, wait. Phil is talking some more. “Ya…I don’t know…Going to see a neighbor.” Which is in response to Finanzielladviser saying…I don’t know, “are you going to kill your neighbor” maybe?
Young screenwriters, please take note. Even if the audience is only going to hear one side of the phone conversation, please write the second person’s dialogue as well. Trust me, it’ll help things make some sense instead of none sense.
Next up? A car drives through the hills.