In The Darkness

Night falls on A Talking Cat!?! How do we know it’s night? Because a dark blue filter is put over the scenes shot during the day. This is a cost-cutting measure done by movies in the 1960s. The 1960s. For an outside shot, it isn’t the worst. If I’d have fallen off of a skateboard in the last ten minutes, I might believe that that isn’t the sun hidden behind some clouds. Let’s see if this self-delusion and head injury combination helps for an inside scene.

Oh no! Someone call a doctor! Everyone is dying! How did this happen? Probably Susan’s food. She is as terrible a caterer as she is a human being.

Oh, wait. Maybe everyone isn’t dying, but let’s stop for a second and consider the lighting in this scene. If blue is used to indicate darkness, then Susan, Trent, and Tina are sitting around in a completely dark house with no lights on. Aside from the glaring sunlight coming in through the back window. Moonlight! I meant glaring moonlight.

With this blue filter technique, blue represents darkness. This is so the audience can see what is going on but the actors are supposed to pretend that they are in the dark.

Tina is looking at her computer. Trent is supposedly watching TV. These are light sources. But everything is blue. I mean, this whole film is lazy. But this is really lazy. Really really lazy. There is so much real nighttime! At night! Hours of it, in fact! Use some of it instead of none of it. Or set the goddamn scene during the day!

What’s this scene about? Everyone is horribly sick and Susan is on a call about a catering job. This job is for a toy company. Or a meeting for a toy company. This toy company is meeting with investors and wants things catered by a single mom with one oven.

If Susan can trick this toy company into thinking she’s competent, then she’ll have a permanent job catering for them! During investor meetings, I guess. Which happen once a year. Shh, don’t think about it.

Anywho, Susan is giddy and once again uses her kids for labor. This is a sustainable plan. Trent, the kiss-up, tell his sister that she “better not mess this up for mom like you messed up your face.” Susan doesn’t hear this. She is all the way in the kitchen.

Duffy, the talking cat, appears for some reason. Tina begins talking to Duffy quietly about previous events, to which Susan replies “are you talking to me?” Dammit, Susan! Are you in the kitchen or not? Either hear nothing or hear everything. This kitchen sound logic is driving me crazy.

Which brings this scene, where at least 50 things are wrong, to a close.

Oh, wait. First Susan makes Tina take Duffy outside, which she does. We cut to another fake moon shot and then cut back to Duffy and Tina INSIDE for another 30 seconds before going on to the next scene. Because that’s how inside and outside work. Now the scene is over.