Vroom Vroom Beep Beep

Phil, the father in A Talking Cat!?!, certainly murdered his wife. I have deduced this because:

1. She isn’t around
2. His son hates his guts with the power of a thousand suns

Phil enters the world of A Talking Cat!?! with a sigh. After an extended period of silence, Phil’s first line is addressed to a piece of driftwood wearing hooker pumps.

Phil’s line is “That thing is hideous. What was I thinking?” I had a theater professor who would walk out on any production of Hamlet if the first line wasn’t delivered correctly. He said that “Who’s there” encapsulated everything that Hamlet was about.

“That thing is hideous. What was I thinking,” is really Phil speaking directly to the audience about A Talking Cat!?! Phil is the voice of the director. The Cléante in Molière’s Tartuffe, if you will.

Like how I mentioned a bunch of plays to sound smart? Me too. Let’s keep going.

After addressing the driftwood, we are introduced to Phil’s son Chris. Phil flies into the room making car noises, interrupting Chris’s “summer reading.”

This is the face you make when someone interrupts your summer reading.

Chris gives Phil the first of four eye-rolls we’ll see in this scene. That’s not counting the four “whatever” sideways glances Chris gives.

Chris hates Phil so much! Phil states that he now has enough money to retire, and Chris needles Phil by saying he already had enough money to retire.

“Maybe we could go on those trips we talked about,” suggests Phil. “What trips,” questions Chris.

Phil must be thinking about the trips he discussed with his wife before he murdered her in front of Chris.

The extent of Phil’s retirement plans is “Guess I’ll hang out here at the house for a while.” When Phil brings up learning to cook, Chris shuts him down with a “Well, I’ve got a lot of summer reading to catch up on. Maybe we’ll order pizza later.”

That’s a solid move, Chris! You ended the conversation AND slammed Phil’s cooking aspirations to the ground in one go! Chris must practice his hatred while he is alone.

And then Chris exits the scene. For 15 seconds.

Chris leaves the room, walks to the stairs, walks up the stairs, and walks out of view. I timed it. It’s 15 seconds of exiting. Because if we didn’t see it all, we’d never know if Chris actually made it up the stairs!

So what’s next? Will Phil murder Chris? And how will being dead affect Chris’s summer reading? Come back to find out!