A Talking Cat!?! teaches us that sometimes reading is hard.
(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)
https://atalkingcat.com/2013/02/16/a-talking-cat-teaches-us-that-sometimes-reading/
A video comparing what A Talking Cat!?! and Goodfellas can do with the same amount of time.
The “action” of A Talking Cat!?! lines up surprisingly well.
https://atalkingcat.com/2013/02/17/a-video-comparing-what-a-talking-cat-and/
Who is A Talking Cat!?! for!?!
A Talking Cat!?! is not a movie for kids. As much as I want everyone to watch this movie, all parents should be warned against showing A Talking Cat!?! to children. It won’t scar them with swears and nudity, but they will be bored and disappointed. There is nothing for them in this movie.
The fact is, A Talking Cat!?! is not for anybody. Well, my opinion is A Talking Cat!?! is for nobody. Just because I say the word “fact” doesn’t make it a fact. But, man, who was the intended audience for this thing?
A talking animal does not make a kids movie make. Especially when the animal’s voice sounds like empty bottles of booze being thrown down a hole lined with güiros. There are no themes in this movie for kids to relate to. Did someone really think “what will a rich man do with himself once he’s retired” would appeal to children? Hell, it doesn’t apply to the 99 percent!
Kids can be pretty dumb, but you can’t phone in a plate of excrement and expect them to smile while they eat it.
Is A Talking Cat!?! a family movie? No! These are horrible families. The brother and sister in the film are amazingly cruel to each other, and their mother is no better. Everyone in this movie hates everyone around them. In the end, the titular cat doesn’t draw people together so much as it distracts them from their own petty bullshit for a few minutes.
Is it a movie for adults? No! There is a talking cat in it, shoddy sound, poor editing, terrible scripting, and La Cucaracha plays far too often. If an adult is concerned about learning how to swim to impress a girl, then they might like this movie. But if that’s the case, they probably have overarching personality issues that would keep them from enjoying A Talking Cat!?!
So who is this film for? The lazy and the cynical. This film capitalizes on people who read the title and think this would be great for their kids, and people like me who read the title and think “oh man, this is going to be so bad.”
How is this a business model for movies? You know you have to pay Eric Roberts in real money, right? Licensing the distribution of a large quantity of hastily filmed movies can’t be that lucrative, can it? And if it is, I’m free to voice anything you want. I’ve been working on a voice for a seal that saves arbor day. Give me a call.
In conclusion, do not show A Talking Cat!?! to children. But do show it to everyone else. It is an amazing train wreck of a film.
The Art of Evasion
Thanks to Mark Sweeney for pointing out this article to me. The AV Club takes some time to do a Q&A with Eric Roberts. They even ask him about A Talking Cat!?! He doesn’t have a lot of answers.
Two households, both alike in dignity
That’s enough Phil and Chris for now. While they’re busy with fractured conversation about cats, girls, and pizza, we’ll visit a cabin in the woods. Or a house in the woods. Weren’t we just on a beach with palm trees, you might be inclined to ask. Yes. Yes we were.
Welcome to the home of Susan (the mommy), Tina (the daughter), and Trent (the son). Another single parent household, you say? Guess that means Phil and Susan are going to hook up at some point. And they do. The end.
Sorry, no. There’s more. We are introduced to Susan, Mother of the Year, as she searches high and low for her shoes. “But she’s wearing shoes,” you might say. You are correct. But these are open toed shoes, and might offend her clients. Susan does run a catering business, after all.
Jeez, movie! Slow it down! You can’t move us from a scene with 9 lines total to a scene with actual content. You’ll give us a case of the information bends.
Susan’s daughter, Tina, is sitting on the couch with her computer. She must like computers and be really good at computers. She is using a computer, after all. Tina starts to talk when MOTY (Mother of the Year, remember?) shuts her down with an “and no, you CAN’T go to business college.”
Wow! That’s a little harsh. Susan really hates business college. And her daughter. Susan continues, “You’re too brilliant and smart.” Too brilliant smart for business college? Is there something I don’t know about business college?
“…for your own good.” Oh, there was more to that sentence. Maybe you could try being better at acting. Pausing means a sentence is over, not “here comes more sentence.”
So they don’t have enough money, because shoeless catering isn’t taking off. It’s not fair, though, because Tina’s website would make a lot of money. What website? (so many questions, I’m so sorry, everybody) Who knows? She is good at computers though. Because she’s holding a computer.
Susan is sure Tina’s website would make a lot of money, but mom says she can’t even afford proper footwear.
Hold up, MOTY. I thought you just lost your shoes. Are you poor, forget, cruel, or a combination of all three?
Then brother Trent enters and says “quit bugging mom about business college!”
Ahhh, Trent. We’ll get to you in the next update.