This sums up the next scene.
https://atalkingcat.com/2013/10/11/this-sums-up-the-next-scene/
That’s Normal
The scene starts with Chris sulking by the pool. The pool he is afraid of. In fact, he’s dipping his tootsies in the pool. This kid isn’t afraid of swimming at all! It’s all some sort of…act. Not that I’d go so far as to say there is acting in A Talking Cat!?!
Chris was just inside tutoring Frannie. Now he is alone outside. I assume Frannie is still inside, since A Talking Cat!?! wouldn’t waste an opportunity to drain 30 seconds of your life away with an “I’m leaving now oh goodbye then see you later” scene.
Then Duffy, the talking cat, starts talking to Chris. Chris says “did you just…” and that’s as surprised as he gets that a cat is talking to him. He delivers the line (half a line) like he got the wrong candy bar from a vending machine. Then he chows down on the Mounds bar like it’s what he wanted all along.
Duffy spends his “can only talk once” rule commiserating over his shared dislike for water. Chris then drops a bombshell on us! He doesn’t know what to tell his dad!
Chris! Your dad will accept you no matter who you love! Wait, no. That’s not it. He’s worried that his dad won’t love him since he doesn’t know how to swim. What? What is this nonsense? How long have you lived in this damn house, Chris? I think he knows. A father always knows. That you can’t swim.
Duffy drops some knowledge on us. If you can talk to a cat, you can talk to your dad. Is this not about swimming? I mean, we know Chris despises his father. His constant eye rolling is a big tip-off. If it isn’t about swimming, then maybe Chris should have transitioned the conversation a little more gradually. Duffy might not be able to follow. Just because a cat can talk doesn’t mean it suddenly grew a giant brain too.
Time for another jarring turn in the conversation. Duffy is advising Chris to never squander an opportunity. Which comes out of nowhere. This is the perfect time for Chris to change the conversation AGAIN and ask if Frannie likes him. To which Duffy responds by getting up and walking away. In silence.
Because Chris is stuck in a bear trap, he can not move the 2 miles per hour required to follow Duffy. Also, Chris must have cataracts because he loses sight of Duffy two seconds after he starts walking away. Also, Chris is dumb and everyone is dumb and this music is dumb.
And Mounds bars are dumb.
In The Darkness
Night falls on A Talking Cat!?! How do we know it’s night? Because a dark blue filter is put over the scenes shot during the day. This is a cost cutting measure done by movies in the 1960s. 1960s. For an outside shot it isn’t the worst. If I’d have fallen off of a skateboard in the last ten minutes, I might believe that that isn’t the sun hidden behind some clouds. Let’s see if this self delusion and head injury combination helps for an inside scene.
Oh no! Someone call a doctor! Everyone is dying! How did this happen? Probably Susan’s food. She is as terrible a caterer as she is a human being.
Oh, wait. Maybe everyone isn’t dying, but let’s stop for a second and consider the lighting in this scene. If blue is used to indicate darkness, then Susan, Trent, and Tina are sitting around in a completely dark house with no lights on. Aside from the glaring sunlight coming in through the back window. Moonlight! I meant glaring moonlight.
With this blue filter technique, blue represents darkness. This is so the audience can see what is going on but the actors are supposed to pretend that they are in the dark.
Tina is looking at her computer. Trent is supposedly watching TV. These are light sources. But everything is blue. I mean, this whole film is lazy. But this is really lazy. Really really lazy. There is so much real nighttime! At night! Hours of it, in fact! Use some of it instead of none of it. Or set the goddamn scene during the day!
What’s this scene about? Everyone is horribly sick and Susan is on a call about a catering job. This job is for a toy company. Or a meeting for a toy company. This toy company is meeting with investors and wants things catered by a single mom with one oven.
If Susan can trick this toy company into thinking she’s competent, then she’ll have a permanent job catering for them! During investor meetings, I guess. Which happen once a year. Shh, don’t think about it.
Anywho, Susan is giddy and once again uses her kids for labor. This is a sustainable plan. Trent, the kiss-up, tell his sister that she “better not mess this up for mom like you messed up your face.” Susan doesn’t hear this. She is all the way in the kitchen.
Duffy, the talking cat, appears for some reason. Tina begins talking to Duffy quietly about previous events, to which Susan replies “are you talking to me?” Dammit, Susan! Are you in the kitchen or not? Either hear nothing or hear everything. This kitchen sound logic is driving me crazy.
Which brings another scene, where at least 50 things are wrong, to a close.
Oh, wait. First Susan makes Tina take Duffy outside, which she does. We cut to another fake moon shot and then cut back to Duffy and Tina INSIDE for another 30 seconds before going on to the next scene. Because that’s how inside and outside work. Now the scene is over.
Magic Puppy, formerly known as A Magic Puppy, A Halloween Puppy, and The Great Halloween Puppy Adventure, is now streaming on Netlfix with its new dog, poster, and tagline. This Halloween, unleash the IMPAWSIBLE with Eric Roberts.
Magic Puppy is written by the same writer as A Talking Cat!?! I could have used a bunch of sarcastic quotation marks there, but I didn’t.
https://atalkingcat.com/2013/10/21/magic-puppy-formerly-known-as-a-magic-puppy-a/